I wouldn’t mind dying in my sleep because you’re all I dream about. What a beautiful way to die, thinking that you were the last thing on my mind. In a place that seems so heavenly it hurts just waking up knowing that I can’t reenact the scenes that go through my head into reality.
do you ever wonder what you were put onto this world for, like what is the purpose of my existence, whose life am I gonna make a difference in. I can’t seem to find the answer to that one. Its like my life is always negatively impacted. Im just never good enough for anyone at all. I’m an overall shitty person. I don’t think there was ever a time that I was truely happy. I can’t talk about my problems because my dad never believes me, my psychiatrist sees me as an experiment and I just don’t want my friends to worry about me.This whole starting over thing in college is really depressing because I’ll be losing all the close friends I’ve managed to hang on to. I want to start over but at the same time i really don’t. How am I gonna get over all the shit my father put me through when I can’t get over someone who fucked me up 9 months ago. All this medication isn’t working, its not fun to be locked into your own mind when everything that you think about is pretty depressing. Being under medication is the worst. I can’t manage to speak about anything because I’m so numb both physically and mentally. I wish I knew what my purpose is so I know if I should even try to get better.
i would absolutely punch a younger version of myself in the face
i would absolutely punch the current version of myself in the face
Everytime I find a boy to be slightly attractive I become obsessed. This is becoming so ridiculous.
I know you’re reading this
so guess what
I love you more than anything